Hurt Again

Why the hell do I keep going around putting so much effort into things and situations and always end up feeling effing low and demoralised?

Why do I bother? Why do I care what happens to the people in my life?
Why do I care how they screw up their own stupid lives day in day out?
Why do I even care if any one other than me is having a good day?
Don't I deserve anything too?

I've tried reaching out and trying to understand..
I've given more space and more privacy..
I've tried encouragement.
I've tried suggestions.

Why am I so effing honest to goodness when even my nearest and dearest can't even lay bare their souls?
To hell with everything.

I'm sick of being the stupid loser at the end of the day.
I'm sick of your stupid secrets.

Fine go keep them to your effing self.


- 10 May 2004 3:09am -